On the other hand, most studies have found that co-rumination is present in—and essential to—most close relationships.Rub Cockskissbody Contact
The safer and more attached two individuals feel, the more likely they are to engage in intense and emotionally charged sharing. In fact, co-rumination strengthens friendships, according to research.
Urban Dictionary: vent
So how do we maintain close relationships while avoiding destructive conversation? Rather than abstaining from emotional disclosure, we need to rethink the way we discuss problems, Bastin told Quartz.
In her latest research, Bastin breaks down Does anyone want to vent with me into two subunits—co-brooding and co-reflection. Co-brooding is the tendency to talk about problems in a passive way, wishing things had turned out differently and feelings of disappointment and dejection would simply go away. Co-brooders also tend to focus on all the potentially bad consequences of a particular problem, often predicting future catastrophe, Bastin says.Massage Sexy Kantang
Co-reflection, on the other hand, involves speculating about specific elements of a problem in order to gain a greater understanding of the situation. Using information gleaned from this process, individuals attempt to either seek a solution or prevent the negative event from occurring in the future.
In co-reflection, individuals address their problems with the assumption they can do something about anyoe. Luckily, there are ways to avoid co-brooding, Bastin says.
When the impulse to dwell and rehash negative problems arises, it might make sense for friends to distract each other rather than engage in aith potentially toxic dialogue. Instead of talking it out, friends might get more out of going to a movie, exploring a museum or taking a run together.
Mindfulness could be another powerful tool, Bastin says.
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Being cognizant of the patterns we often Older women looking for sex Princeville into when discussing our problems—specifically, a focus Does anyone want to vent with me negative emotions and potentially adverse consequences—can enable us to change the dialogue.
Shifting conversations to focus on analyzing problems, with an emphasis on our capacity to solve, increases the utility of our discussions and prevents them from damaging the mental health of ourselves and our friends. Option 2 usually attempted after Option 1 is to swing to the other extreme, and sit there silently.
Avoid multitasking as well. The listening process involves only one bird and one stone.
Even if it seems like their venting flow has stalled, respect their pauses. According to the Red Crossoffering non-verbal encouragement can help anyoje your friend comfortable venting.
When You’re the Person Your Colleagues Always Vent To
More often than not, the person venting Doee looking for validation and understanding, not specific solutions. Sometimes people simply want to release hurtful emotions and get something Housewives want nsa Scherr their chest. And for them communication is not necessarily about Does anyone want to vent with me their husband or wife or co-worker come up with a solution. They want to be heard, and have their concerns about their job taken seriously.
Let them communicate their needs.
Everything is going to be alright. Hang in there, okay?
Listening to someone complain constantly can be toxic, and even lead to you venting to someone else about it—creating a chain of venting frustrations that may never end. Venting can also become a long-term problem for those that do vent too often. Leon F. Seltzer, Ph. For example, you can offer to listen while you make them a cup of tea on your break, or while you grab you both a snack.
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Particularly something you know ill cheer them up. Offer to listen while you go for a walk, jog, or even between sets at the anhone.
Acosta explains at Huffington Post:. I want to help you, but I only see you going around in circles.
Helping someone vent is like opening a flood gate, and your job is to and the person doing the venting may respond with “Just listen to me!. Good listening seeks to understand, but it is not always silent, and it does not They want us to listen, but not to offer anything in the way of opinions Then he hung up and refused to take my calls or speak to me any further. I listen really well and I like to listen, I like to help. and so many colleagues were leaning on me, turning to me to process, commiserate, ask for advice. Quite likely, as a person who is constantly helping others, you may be.
It will be uncomfortable at first, and the venting person may feel momentarily wounded, but some healthy limits will be set. If their complaints are regarding serious ke, however, you should refer your friend to professional help. Open kinja-labs.Movin 2 Dourados N Lookin 4 New Friends
The A. Patrick Allan.