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Because for better or for worse, dating in Houston is different than anywhere else. College football rivalries are alive and killing it. And by it, we mean your doomed relationship if you went to opposing schools.

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Most people are here for work, so be prepared to get your heart broken when your new girlfriend takes a two-year expat assignment in Germany. Auf Wiedersehen.

Which is sweet, because you only own flip-flops. Sticky ribs, massive chicken-fried steaks, sloppy burgers, hot-as-hell curries. The number of ways to get sauce all over your face knows no bounds.

Wash, rinse, repeat until someone actually sticks. Everyone drives.

It was nice out when you left the house, but by the time you made it to your picnic in the park the sky looked like the coming of the Apocalypse. Or at least severe tropical weather. Does your date keep their apartment stocked with beef jerky, water, and tequila? Marry them.

Good thing, because you just spotted some friends at the bar. There is no in between.

And suddenly, with one order of nachos, your Tinder love affair was over. True story: Male or female, young or old, Houstonians like their local beers.

In fact, your first kinda real fight was over who was the better parallel parker. You lost.

That one time you met at Top Golf was fun, but is it really worth the inevitable traffic and subsequent road rage? Midtown and over 30? You may have a bit of Peter Pan syndrome on your hands.

The Heights and under 30? Beware the summer interns you find partying in Midtown.

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They may look your age, but they could be out celebrating their 21st. Meaning that girl you met at your fiend local bar and dated for three weeks before things went nuclear is probably going to be at that same bar when you are trying to hit on another girl three weeks later.

We're not here to tell you the whats, wheres, and hows of Houston dating when your new girlfriend takes a two-year expat assignment in Germany. True story: people actually use Tinder to respectably “meet up for drinks after work. They may look your age, but they could be out celebrating their 21st. "The Best Girlfriend You Never Had" is the first story in Pam Houston's O' Rourke is a thirty-one-year-old photographer obsessed with finding lasting love. .. Sebastian Junger's first book, The Perfect Storm: A True Story of Men Against . Whitney Houston's ex-girlfriend Robin Crawford to release tell-all If you can, search for the clip of Whitney on the Byron Allen show, where she's really butch Nike releases new 'Be True' rainbow-colored Air Max sneakers.

Follow her at BrookeViggiano Lolking find out how she escaped. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email. Share on Facebook Pin it. Where you went to college actually matters College football rivalries are alive and killing it.

The schizophrenic weather will ruin your date plans at least once It was nice out when you left the house, but by the time you made it to your picnic in the park the sky looked like the coming of the Apocalypse.

Proper dating etiquette is either a huge priority or not a thing at all There is no in between. Going to a brewery is a perfectly acceptable date idea Male or female, young or old, Houstonians Looking for a Houston true girl friend their local beers.

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If your date lives outside the Loop, you will never see each other Ever. Want More? Like Us.

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